Kiss me, mom, I’m your little one”! Neda Balluku tells the shocking story: I was beaten because I gave birth to a girl

“My mother beat me all my life with a belt, she locked me in the cow shed and beat me with whatever she could and grabbed me by my hair, she let me sleep in the cow shed. And when I told him why he surrounded me, he told me that you are a girl and he loved his brothers very much. He beat me so badly that I cried while choking or my nose was bleeding.”

This is a message sent to the address of Neda Balluk.

“I know, ma!

I know, mother, that when you were like me, no one warmed your back from the cold. No one took your hands to join them, and brought them close to the mouth to warm them with breath. I know that your back grew with the threats that after every word you said it would become softer than your stomach and that your hands were a work tool. This is how mine are today!

I know that no one wiped away the tears when the milking cow kicked you. I know that the hair really stood out because with the kick that killed you, he spilled the milk of the family. I know that they have given you countless loaves of bread with the pennies earned from that milk.

I know, I wish they only knew your name and I don’t understand how you didn’t get lost in yourself when the one who made your head didn’t want to know anything about you. Did you have dreams, ma! Did you want to grow up!

I know that nobody ever asked you if you were in love with your shepherd friend. With the clarity of the sky or the scent of flowers in the yard. I know, I know that no one asked you or took your permission when he kissed you and when he entered your flesh. Except your father, go on, he said.

I know you could never say no to me. You never said stop. But what’s my fault, mom!

Why do you pour the suffering that could not become a loved and desired person on me?! Are you testing me if I have power that you didn’t have?! Don’t you hate that I was born with pain like you?! Are you trying to become Lord of your destiny by becoming Lord of my destiny?!

I know, but stop! Stop it! Don’t worry! Don’t. Oh my!

Kiss me oh ma! Hug me! I am your little girl and I am ready for you to be my little girl. Let’s grow together. Let’s heal together. Let’s love together the clarity of the sky and the fragrance of the flowers in the meadow.

Maybe like this, mother, one day I will really be your flower, and you my shepherd